Thursday 27 December 2018

Traumacare Recovery While Traveling with Grandma

When you've been through trauma as I have for the last couple of weeks, 47 days to be exact, and you make it through, you just look at life differently. These last couple of weeks I've been in crisis care and I didn't want to tell any of you about it. I know you would all understand but I had to do this alone.

You know of course that I'm talking about visiting my twin grand baby toddlers in Australia right? Oh, they change the way you look at life, seriously.  Twins make you be "on" every waking minute of the day and every sleeping hour of the day that you never recover so your immune system is trashed and vulnerable and falls apart so your holidays are trashed and every one after.

Now, full disclosure, when I am with the babies, I know who is who.  One is a gentle giant and one has lungs on her not common with little people but on my cell phone video chat and in photos, I have a very hard time discerning who is who because their heads are itty bitty.  I can only guess which one is which and in the past, it was easier because one always seemed so serious but now that has changed.  Nevertheless, who could think of resisting these irresistible toddlers?

Happy


                                       

















I'm sick...just leave me alone!
In Tasmania, Cradle Mountain in the cold drizzle was a nightmare and the scene of ground zero for the colds; for 12 out of the 14 days that I was with them they were sick with a cold.  When I would pick them up, one would cough in my mouth, the other would sneeze in my mouth and I'm sure when I put them both down, they would race off to the bathroom to lick my toothbrush, ensuring that if they were miserable, so too would Grandma be.  Their's was not your typical horrifying man cold. Rather,think of 2 rivers of gooey slime in a continuous fountain followed by  simultaneously coughing machines who rarely, if ever, stop crying baby colds.  These are much much worse than the average human cold because they cannot say what's bothering them and you can only guess and it's times TWO but other than that, my God they were precious and unlike most other vacations,  I WOULD do it again in a heartbeat. 

The most wonderful moment everyday was hearing one wake up before the other and rushing in after putting my cape on to save the day and give my daughter a few more minutes of sleep while her hubbie snuck out at Odarkhundred to go to work. Quietly opening the door to see a happy face look at me and light up and arms go up in the air and then wrapping around my neck as tight as a baby boa constrictor dressed up as a tiny little monkey. That's my favorite moment in history, my new happy place.


You would think it would be twice a good with two raising their arms but you'd be wrong. That's a lot of extra weight and body misalignment as you put them both on each hip and pray one doesn't scratch the others in the eye and bite the first one and kick the second one and you don't get caught in the crossfire. 




I arrived and had one day to recover with two little girls who looked at me with distrust at the airport but like all  twins, when a stranger puts her arms out to lift them up, their arms automatically go up to hug whatever stranger danger is offering love or food.


My first real night with the babies had them shrieking from 11 p.m. to 3:59 a.m when they fell asleep for 1 minute until it was time to wake them up to catch the early flight out. As a grandma and a mother every nerve in my body is awake when they are awake and unhappy so it was a rough night.  I hated to hear them so unhappy.

Airports used to be a place of exploration and relaxation until now.  We each took one and mine wanted to run up and down the stairs, step on the table to make a phone call on the public phone, play with the vending machine and cry lots if I deviated from her list of unspoken demands. 

 Traveling with children is a nightmare for many people, grandma and mother included. On the plane over from Canada, it was full of screaming babies but knowing how much I missed my grand babies, the sound of a thousand babies encompassed me like a womb knowing I would soon be reunited. There was a man beside me looking so distraught and feeling like it was the end of the world.  Let's be honest, sometime they're the weaker sex. I tried to walk him through it but you'd never have to do that with another woman. They understand. They have been thru it. They have your back but I do think this guy was looking under his seat for a parachute or a raft boat so he could "jump ship". 

When we flew to Tasmania the four of us, it was for a one-hour descent into hell, with Beelzebub and Damian strapped to our seat belts. And then the shrieking started and the trading back and forth and the food trough came out of the suitcases, handbags and  knapsacks, to cram something down their gullets long enough to keep them chewing, but  not enough to choke them and cause even more screaming and hold off the angry mob on the plane. That in itself would rival the most intense of aerobic workouts on the planet. No point in having a shower before a flight with a baby on your lap. The looks of contempt from the young ones and the male counterparts, frightening... mutiny.  You could always count on a woman to just smile sweetly as they remembered their own horrific travels with babies and are counting their blessings because they're not doing it again. There's a statistic that says 89% of travel with toddlers is with the mother; that means men rarely have the courage to attempt this feat, like childbirth. Okay I made up that statistic but I would weakly stand behind it.

I remember a horror story back in the military days when the families were being transferred overseas and before boarding, they all gave their ankle biters Gravol to put them to sleep.  Unfortunately, the flight was delayed four hours and the kids all slept peacefully in the Canadian terminal only to be wide awake for the long, long flight over- every parent's nightmare.  So, back to me being a grandma.

In the beautiful capital of Hobart, the grandma owning the Airbnb had exactly one bubble making lawn mower and one Etch-a-Sketch. What monster landlady does that to twins.  You can imagine the tortures each of the twins came up with to outsmart the other; unfair play and biting was always an option.


We navigated the neighbourhood with the two person stroller but reached
an impasse between mom and the all-knowing grandma.  If we went all the way down hill to the city center, there would have to be an up and there was no way I was working that hard on vacation.  It would have rivaled the aerobic workout on the plane.  Grandma won and I know, secretly, mom was relieved.  I know she will have it put on her gravestone that she would have loved to have done the down-Everest of hills but her mommy robbed her of that honour.
  
I got my own room at the Randal Cliff Airbnb but grandmas hear everything.  The first peep out of them had me rushing to look after the crying one whom I took to bed and let her sleep on my chest -big mistake, huge mistake of the caliber as seen in Pretty Woman. You can't breathe or move a muscle for hours or you might wake up the Beast until finally can't handle it anymore and you toss them to the side and gasp for air, knowing your day has started. 

Food was a huge issue on this trip and of course the lack of ability to communicate.Their favorite word was "Ada  Ada Ada ADA!!!!!!" which meant they were either hungry, feed me, or FEED ME NOW with a look of murder in their eyes. "Um, um, um" seems to mean the same thing too but for a visual, it was either baby birds begging to be fed or Homer Simpson wanting donuts, more more more. 

As an aside, when I returned back to Canada and we talked on the phone, our first cell video chat was weird.  They just looked at the phone and stared, probably not comprehending who the rested, made up lady was, until I said "Um".  Both kicked into life and responded with Um and we went back and forth for awhile.  It was hysterical because I was speaking their language and probably agreeing to join in their overthrowing the establishment.

I did learn that if you are feeding a baby an apple, well, you're stoopid and you just shouldn't.  These monkeys will thoroughly chew it to mince and just when you are patting yourself on the back for feeding healthy babies, they use their tongues and push it all out EVERYWHERE!.  They are merely chipmunks storing food until they can trash your place, the rental car, the stroller, the living room.  Military forces should hire the services of these two ninja chewing warriors to create chaos from the calm.  They did like the dried fruit sheets from the market a lot, as did grandma.

Tried to read them my personalized grandma reading audio book but they would not sit still.  One of the only things that kept them progressively captivated were two dollar store squeeze dinosaurs where when you squeeze them, little bubbles would pop out.  Initially it was soooo hard on my hand to do this but by the end, I had muscles.  So I would squish it, all the bubbles would come up, they would take turns pushing them back in, then I would turn over the mini dino and moves it's mouth like it was laughing it's head off.  Funny for the kids but choose carefullly how you want to spend all of your days.  This was not one way lol.

Playing together nicely?  When did that happen?
Resting at the playground
So just some random kids shots before I sign off on another weird travel but this time with sick kids who made grandma and mom real sick. At least daughter is now cured of the travel bug until the kids get older or we both develop amnesia, as we always do, next winter.  The few times  babies sat or lay peacefully.                                                                                                                                                                             

Tiptoeing across the sand

So happy to see the wild bird show
Alligator rides- they were brave




                                                      Now I ask you a question. Does it make me a bad grandma to love the kids most when they look like this?

Saturday 15 December 2018

Another Fraud in Ottawa- Learn from my mistakes


Good Lord what have I done? Normally I trust no one.  With so much changing technology, I can hardly keep up and I'm finding I am a victim of potential fraud yet again but did not lose anything.   I reported the errors of my ways immediately but my self esteem is shaken.
The last time was a year ago October with the scammers from overseas.  This time I fell for an online trick as old as the hills but I have damn good reasons for why. I sent in my CRA quarterly money owing. The next day somebody sent me an e-transfer to my cell phone. It's the first time I've received something like that and I thought it was odd but I tried to cash it had some problems and then switched over to my bank app and it deposited no problem.  Last night CRA reassessed my deposit and reimbursed me for an overpayment to the tune of $282 which has happened before but this time, they sent me a refund to my cell as well. 

Now I know I've set it up with them for direct deposit  but it was late and I was distracted and tired. That's how all my disastrous stories start.  With hindsight, I do know better. I tried to deposit it but because it was a new media I had to set it up properly like I did my bank app.  I've done this before but it did seem kind of odd. I put in my debit number as I've had to do many times before setting up my security questions and then it asked me for my credit card number information. 3 times I exited out to see and check if it was a valid email. Finally I forged ahead to see the money was not deposited. Quel suprise! I immediately called my bank and we froze all my accounts and credit cards, bloody hell.

I waited with bated breath for 9 a.m. the next morning to call CRA and have them let me know what I already knew- that they don't use any other reimbursement other than direct deposit. No matter what they told me, it would be bad news.  If it was a real deposit, I'd shut down everything for nothing and caused myself a lot of grief.  If it was fraud, same outcome.  While I did almost everything textbook WRONG, I did not give out my SIN so CRA and the credit rating companies were not compromised so woohoo on me outsmarting the thieves eh?  Don't cheer too loudly, it just wasn't one of their questions. 

I then called Equifax and here's where it starts getting wonky. I just admitted to them that I've erroneously given all this information to the bad guys living in my computer, waiting to kill, crush and destroy me or at least potentially defraud me but with each new company that I call, I have to give them my social insurance number, full name, address, phone number  birthday and so on. It just doesn't seem right. So Equifax put a fraud alert for six years on my account and said they would let me know if someone was trying to open a new account by sending an alert to my phone. 6 years is a long time to have my hand spanked.  Then they tried to sell me more protection which I said I would wait to decide at another date, especially after they got quite aggressive and building on my fears.  They told me to call the commercial Department and gave me the number to make sure my business was not compromised. I called that number and it was just to get my credit rating- made no sense.

I called Trans Union to repeat all the same information with a total stranger and they said every time somebody tries to open up a credit with my information they will get contact me via snail mail and I'll know within 5 days. I think by then I will be screwed and living in a box by the river, won't I? 

Next was the call to the police but to get through to the police non-emergency fraud line is a nightmare. Finally I spoke to the operator and she said because I have not lost any money she could give me the number to notify the police of a new fraud but they were well aware of this one for the last three years so thanks but bye-bye. 

Off to the bank to get a new debit card and wait a week to get a another credit card. I have to notify all of the companies I deal with who get automatic debits monthly off my credit card like CAA, Netflix Etc. And I was wondering what I was going to do with my day today.

People, learn from my mistakes.   Repeat after me- CRA will never contact you or send you money by text.  Don't be tired, greedy, and gullible like I was. Wait till the morning when you're awake and better able to deal with finance and money transactions. Class is dismissed.

Wednesday 12 December 2018

Family Travel & Accommodations, not in Ottawa, 2018

Traveling with family is challenging at best  but as usual, I take travel to a new level. Question for you- can you call a trip,  "a trip of a lifetime" if you've already been there once before  but it's a new location? Well I had the chance to find out. Back I went to Australia to see daughter, new hubbie and the twin 11/2 year old grandbabies  in Melbourne then Tasmania. 

At 22 hours of flying I realized I only had 15 and a half more when you skip a day.  I did watch a lot of movies Jurassic world, Mamma Mia, Tag, The Game Plan, I Feel Pretty, The Greatest Showman on Earth. That's way too many movies which means the flight was waaaay too long but still shorter than ever in history. 

We did discover something interesting on this plane. The windows are made to turn dark unless you actively press a button to show that it's daytime outside, and then it fades back again- stunning technology and it works great when you set your watch to your destination and it's night time there.

Even with the  new routes direct to Melbourne, it's still a very long way. Had a happy moment at the airport when I returned my cart to find a large forgotten bottle of $100+ 12 year old single malt scotch, in another cart and while I detest scotch, the others were quite tickled.  I arrived jet-lagged, barely coherent, and falling asleep as everyone spoke to me until they kicked me off to bed in the evening when the babies went at 7 p.m. Next day we were back on a plane  with bambinos,  just the four of us, to go to Tasmania  and drive around  to see the sights.  I'm not even going to discuss the plane ride. This story warrants its own  write up at another date. All I will say is OMG and never again!!

Our first stop were the Warm Springs. Unfortunately it was a chilly day  and the Warm Springs consisted of  a homemade pond luke cold soup covered in scum.  When you cleared the top  the water was a polar opposite from being Warm Springs .  

Disappointing,  but then we went to Cradle Mountain. You take a shuttle bus to the top and make your way down after doing the trails. It was a cold drizzly day and the babies wanted to walk- that was our first mistake. One caught a cold that day which impacted the entire trip. 

We stopped along the way to sightsee murals in Sheffield, consignment shop toys for pennies  and were surprised  when an older man stopped the stroller to speak to my daughter in the grocery store and give palm readings to the babies. They were mesmerized and that was kind of fun especially since he was pretty dead on with a message. 

Then we drove to our final destination of the day, a wonderful Airbnb called Ladybird, run by a lovely gentleman. He makes his own bread which nobody has ever done at an Airbnb I have ever stayed at. He's a gentleman farmer  but I did warn him I stole the last of the bread for our trip  even though I knew he would eat it. It was just too good. 

A mom and baby wallaby that only I saw
He lives on a spread of wilderness where wallabys roam freely and the sounds of the wild life can't help but make you want to jump out of bed in the morning. He had a man cave, a  workshop to rival Tim the Tool Man. I can't even imagine how much work I could get done  there. The log cabin was really cold because we turned off the extremely efficient pellet stove but oh my god I slept like a dream and the sounds of the outdoor world were beckoning me. I could hear the wild birds starting their day and all I could imagine were acres and acres of wild animals which of  course did not transpire. 

Sleep was almost of the dead. As I shared a bed with my daughter we were like chicken rotisserie relatives; when she would roll over I would roll over, when she rolled back I would roll back. And the most wonderful way to wake up at O dark hundred is with a little cherub looking at you waiting to be hugged but this Airbnb fairy tale property with a pool and wild wallaby with baby is the next best thing. Like the many visitors to come to my house who say they've always wanted to own a bed and breakfast, I do feel the same way about Ladybird. It's property like this that just feeds a soul. Rob did say we could stay as late as we wanted the next day but we got an early start; we had a long day ahead of us.

I was lucky this time around in Australia. I did not have to drive. What is a strange experience this time round because I had my NASCAR driving daughter at the wheel (stop rolling your eyes or they will freeze like that) doing the breakneck turns on the cliffs in the middle of nowhere. We saw tons a local wildlife including echnids and wombats and kangaroos and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if while I slept some of them were accidental casualties of my daughter but again, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have to drive on the wrong side of the road. That really messes with you when you come home. 

We did a brief stop at Christmas Hills Raspberry Farm only to find out it wasn't very Christmassy or a working-raspberry-picking-public farm.  They had a cafe that sold raspberries and it was here I earned my grandbabies' love. Every cry, every whimper, every unnnh (I'm hungry) and you could feed them one of Mother Nature's perfect foods but damn you better be fast or they'd bite your fingers off and God forbid if you threw one out the window in the Fruit Fly Banned area.  
 
Along the way we stopped off at a a ginseng and salmon farm which seem like an unlikely combination. Tried to get the kids to feed the scary thrashing fish or even touch the calm fish and that did not go over well. Tried to walk to the waterfalls and you would have seen baby, face planted on the ground in tantrum mode. We had bought a bag of pellets that really stunk and every time the kids would throw it it would end up right at their feet and the geese would come attack them to eat the food. I think I still went back to Canada with some of that sewage smelly seafood in all my pockets. 
Continued along the isolated Highway with little traffic lots of gravel and white ghostly trees as far as the eye could see. At one point near the top of the mountain mist covered everywhere and it was almost impossible to see, potholes so deep you could hide a child inside them, but I wouldn't.



We arrived at the next bed and breakfast in the capital, the beautiful hilly Hobart. It was another glorious rental of a whole house and our backyard was like The Butchart Gardens in Victoria. Everything was carefully constructed to be quirky, I took so many pictures. I now plan to find broken old wicker chair and replace the seat with flowers that will go through the top part of the Wicker- it was beautiful but I guess you had to be there.  Another early night with both of us passed out on the couch Pizza hanging from our mouths but barely eaten.  We were exhausted and even the mocking of the owner did not deter me from catching up on my jet lag.

On the Saturday we went to the Salamanca markets and shop till we dropped, introducing huge sheets of fruit rollups that they babies loved. It's not a great place to take a double stroller when it's wall-to-wall people but I think the best part of my trip was going to the adjacent city park and letting the kids run wild. There was Scottish band practicing in the park and everyone in kilts and bagpipes. The children were mesmerized and walked right up to the group and just stood there and listened and danced. I noticed people were taking pictures of the band but even more of the two cute little kids.

We went looking for a winery it was closed and we got lost in the countryside farms with countless sheep and cattle, and ended up finding the same Winery on the other side of the mountain and it was open and bought some. 

Also stopped at a cider place with our final destination Randall's Bay Cliffs- an air B&B on the cliff overlooking the beach and very picture worthy. We spent many hours that night competing with who could take the better pictures of the sunset and the cave with the bear maybe inside- she's so gullible but we didn't  hang around too long to find out. I did attempt to drink wine the first night and got two sips in and passed out from exhaustion; the second night, another two sips but I gave up after that. Either the wine in Tasmania is super strong or I was super tired. 

We had been sharing beds every night but at this location it was a huge place and I got my own room and she took both babies in her room. Sweet!

Off a short detour  to buy a platter of oysters for my weird daughter  who eats those slimy things. She was drooling  thinking about eating them on the beach alone. Off to the Kunst pods near the beach. Unfortunately this main floor Airbnb had an upper floor separate apartment where they could depart from the second floor with one of two slides. Of course the babies wanted to go up to slides and that created many problems. We hung out at the beach and while Renee loves the beach, sister Mickey, not so much. This was to be our place to see the Southern Lights Australis Borealis. We did not see them but we were blessed with the biggest sky of nearby stars I've ever seen. You could almost reach up and touch them.  Daughter was able to set her phone for the first time to take pictures of stars and it worked.

We had a gorgeous one hour drive from the pods to the St Helen's Motel unit as there was nothing else available. It reminded me of California with beautiful beaches. It's funny.  I kind of forgot we were driving around an island where most of the water was blue green and the sands, so white.  We had lunch at a Lobster Shack then checked in and the elderly gentleman was nice enough to have given us two beds in the room but we would have to pay for the second bed and also keep the children off of it if we didn't, is he kidding me? I told him no way and we couldn't switch so he relented gave us a blanket to put on top so they wouldn't wreck it and promise not to charge us. I guess I should check my invoice. Lucky for us, there was an adjacent alpaca pen right beside the motel complex so we saw lots of them. 

On the way to the airport, we stopped in the park called Bay of Fires with rusty looking rocks on a beautiful beach.  

So we headed off to the airport to go back to Australia with mountains of luggage, mostly baby related. We pretty much expected to have to buy a new car because it was so filthy but they assured us the car would be cleaned no problem no extra charges- again, I should check my invoice. The flight went badly, more on that later, and we swore off ever traveling again with children. 

It felt great to be "home" and have my own bed and put my earplugs in at night. Love sharing the house with Grandma and Grandpa-in-law; they were awesome company. I do believe Baba Yaga which translates to Grandma Witch, was quite enjoying watching me race around after the kids so she could relax. Now keep in mind that both of our colds and the babies colds were full force so we were dragging our butts. We did make it to the mall at some point, to buy baby flower girl dresses for the upcoming wedding at Christmas. I certainly hope they videotape for posterity dressing the babies in these gowns because they fought it every step of the way the first time, much like the airplane seats. The wedding day should be lively with these two gremlins.

On one of my final days, daughter and I took the metro into Melbourne to see the sites.  She should run the office for navigating strange cities cuz there is no one better at organizing travel.  We walked a lot, shared drinks in the Ponyfish Island Bar under a bridge then off to see the famous painted shacks on the beach and watch the multitude of tourists posing.  Off to a traditional pre-Christmas mini-fondue then another long walk to see the penguins.  It was a hard trek coughing non-stop so we stopped along the way for some medicinal honey bourbon.  
Along the pier, we saw our first penguin and people went so batshit crazy; you would have thought the penguins were all stars.  By the end of the pier, we'd seen so many, it was less mind blowing but they are still pretty cute.  So I did get to see the penguins but sadly not the Aurora Australis.  I guess I will have to plan a trip to Iceland after all.  
Went to stay at another bed and breakfast in Mount Dandenong and it was not so great. It was the only place I worried about bed bugs. Checked out the Healysvale Sanctuary Zoo but like my curse, most zoos only have birds more than willing to strut while the exotics like the platypus, echnids,  kangaroos and koalas kept a lower profile on this hot and arid day.  

Australia Crucified
I had heard about a statue park near Melbourne when I was in Canada and I was very excited to see Rickerts Sanctuary. The statues are created from clay into the trees; it was stunning, somewhat creepy  work by a crazy man done a very very long time ago before my time. The essence of the park is to honour the environment.  The actual walk is about five minutes and it's free but with babies it was a much, much longer stay.

Back in Melton area, we had a lovely dinner party outside and after everybody left and I fell asleep early, I got up realized everybody had gone to bed and it was only 9pm so I went outside and hung in the hammock watching the three quarter moon in 30 degree weather. It was very zen until I heard footsteps and a click and I realized I was locked out briefly.  It was a sad night for me knowing I wouldn't see the babies or daughter and her new family again for another year.  

I'd heard recently that you can tell a trip was good by the reluctance of the traveler to go home.  Unlike most of my trips, this one was challenging, covered by sickness and baby ooze and I would repeat it in a heartbeat.  Also, I couldn't wait to get home for Christmas, and routine and health...which I'm still waiting for.  

These long ramblings are mostly to remind me about my travels when my mind is long gone.

Friday 2 November 2018

Riverboat cruises are NOT better than MY Bed & Breakfast

Travelling with family to Ottawa and beyond should elicit wonderful memories but I a must be an ungrateful person. I just don't process things as well as other people but when it comes to travel, when I get home I have to process the trip before I can give you an honest answer to "how was it"?  It's been a year now so we should be safe. While most people come home and say oh my God that was a blast, I think of the negative stuff, unfortunately. I travel the world lots to lots of places and now most of those places I can say wow that was amazing but when I got home from that trip, nope.

My latest trip on a Riverboat Cruise from Amsterdam to Basel Switzerland taught me something about myself I didn't know; At 57, I was TOO YOUNG for a Riverboat Cruise. There is no gym, proper walking path covered by the elements, hot tubs, stores, Casino or pool. We could eat, sleep and drink. As you can see, they did lots of sleeping so maybe they are just the right age for the RB cruise but not me.


 I guess I've been spoiled by the big cruise lines which I love.  Done an Eastern Caribbean, Mediterranean, and Alaskan but it will be awhile before I do a small ship again.



On the plus side, I do find that I learn a lot on these trips. I get to stay at bed and breakfast and Airbnb's and I get to steal all their ideas and bring them back to my own bed and breakfast and call it my own. That's good, isn't it?

I especially can't wait to paint a wall in my bathroom with all of the things to see and do in Orleans and downtown. Isn't it sad that the only room in my house that is bare is a bathroom? This guy paid a lot of money but I'm cheap so will do it myself.  I will add that to my ONE DAY list!!!!  I also learned the importance of never letting your guard down as a host  by over indulging or combining pain killers with alcohol. This host had to be poured into his home and it was not a pretty sight, then he proceeded to hit on my bro- not cool buddy; hysterically funny though for future heckling opportunities against my brother......... for life!

When I went to Amsterdam two days before the cruise with my siblings, unlike the locals, we walked everywhere, hour after infernal hour because drill Sargent Diane refuses to cab or bus but the openness of Amsterdam was quite enlightening. The red light district was fascinating yet a little disappointing when you saw the bored expressions on the display of ladies for viewing. I don't know what I was expecting; them cartwheeling with excitement?
We went to a fancy dog park and I'm not sure what my brother is doing but they enjoyed playing there.

 It was interesting to see how open Amsterdam is for marijuana use which when I wrote this was fascinating but now is quite redundant.
I should warn you that this year has been off the charts busy so I couldn't blog.  I'm getting ready to go to Australia again so this cruise blog has to be off my plate before the next one.

The most shocking revelation in Amsterdam was how many people take bikes. bikers have the right of way so if you're walking in their biking path, God help you. They will hit you, not apologize and drive off because you are too stoopid for getting in their way.

The most amazing thing though was how friendly everybody was there. Everyone would stop to help you and look at your map and give you the wrong directions unintentionally. We got lost chronically around our Airbnb. I have no idea how the 4 of us could be so directionally challenged until I realized it was the whole city. Finally after circling around trying to find our "home:", about the 4th time I went in a store and the store keeper left his store and walked us home for 15 minutes. I can't imagine anybody in Canada doing that and we're supposed to be the friendly country.

It was interesting to do Christmas markets and Windmills within days of each other.  We specifically booked our cruise to see the Christmas markets. Naive me, I pictured all along the Rhine all the trees aglitter with Christmas lights and maybe different Santas along the way giving us stockings full of swag...

I guess it's no worse than the agent booking our elephant sanctuary with the baby elephants in Thailand and telling us they were so cute to hold.  Both my gullible daughter and myself pictured ourselves carrying the infant elephants in our arms.  Imagine our horror when we saw the baby elephants and realized they weighed a ton, literally but I digress.  We are gullible, let's just leave it at that.



So, when we reached our port, the free, included tour would take us to a Christmas Market and the first one was magical. The second one was an exact replica of vendors and items just a different city. It was just one flea market after another and all identical except for one place that put a skating rink downtown and lit up the ice. So beautiful. Every city should do this.

The narrow lock for two ships
I learned more about boat launch and ships that I probably wanted to. The ship's Captain is in a raised box near the front of the boat and every time they would go under a bridge, the staff would vacate the Box and the box would sink down into the boat. That's a sight to see as is when the boat passing alongside another freighter in a lock and it really doesn't look like they're going to make it but thankfully they always do even if it is with only an inch between the concrete walls and the competing for space boats.

There are lots of castles lots of markets and a bazilian churches. Oh my, I thought my siblings would string me up if we visited even one more sacred landmark and lit one more candle.   In Cologne we stopped off at St Peters and it was magnificent. The day was dreary the weather was cold the church looked dark and haunted but when we circled the city and came back, it was empty of congregants, suddenly the sunset lit up the church like it was made of solid gold. It was glorious and totally unexpected. What a magnificent structure that 20 year olds built years ago. The sunburst lasted about 2 minutes until I could take my photo but that two minutes was priceless!

There were so many castles to see in Germany but only two actual port visits.  In Koblenz we went to the Marksburg Castle which is hard to believe people live there, it's so wild. They had a torture chamber and off the kitchen, a turret with a hole in the ground for people to poop while they were talking to people who were eating. I guess I wouldn't want to be the one walking under the turret when the urge hit someone from above.

This beautiful castle was one we saw.  Everyone was trying to get the best pic but no one had an ariel view like I did.  Best pic of the day and I lorded it over all the other travelers and agreed to take them to the most magical spot.  I took them to the tourist marketing photo that I had snapped from the frame.  Oh, my name was dirt but laughter is so good for the soul.

Heidelberg castle was bittersweet for me.  I'd been there 30 years ago with 100 US male army soldiers so this time wasn't as magical and they closed off the interior tour as well.  Hard to compete with my first visit when I was young and foolish.

What I wasn't prepared for with this Christmas Market tour because late into the month of November was cold. There wasn't really any snow but we were chilled to the bone quite often. One day I counted 11 layers of clothing on me and when that day ended I recycled the clothes to a different layer on the outside and a different color. I felt a bit like a homeless person.
The Black Forest Area was surprising to me. We took a long included bus tour out to the black forest which was very deep in snow. There were workshops on black forest cake making, cuckoo clock and glass blowing. We almost got lucky and got to take home a $13,000 cuckoo clock when my brother stumbled but he recovered altho I'm sure his heart was ready to go into cardiac arrest.

Met a lovely lady from California who had never seen snow so I suggested she do snow angels and also stand under a heavily laden eaves trough with a ton of melting snow while I took lots of pictures of her but alas it never did fall on her- I was poised ready just in case. Don't judge me.  Everybody wants the perfect action shot.

Upon our return we had to walk to the three corners of France Germany and Switzerland and have numerous pictures taken. Someone said it was not an easy place to get to; they would be right.  It's an even more difficult place to find. I think the gods finally shook their heads and just moved the 3 corners to where we were wandering 'cause we never would have found it on our own. Quite possibly this wasn't even the right monument but just give it to us.

We're such fancy travelers, we had breakfast on the ship in Germany lunch in France at a boulangerie/deli then walked back into Switzerland to catch a tram to go into Germany shopping and take our picture at the 3 borders.  Poor Tom with his bad feet and I made us go from country to country to country .  

Back to the boat- because there were four of us and we would arrive often late for dinner we would have to join other tables but not on the night of the Captain's Dinner because they ran out of seats. We had to sit in the lounge by ourselves like lepers. We met some lovely people from Arizona and North Carolina, all over the place. They were all interested in hearing about my bed and breakfast but as of this date, I have yet to see one of these people.  
Hindsight helped us realize too that if we didn't cheap out on the rooms, maybe we wouldn't have noticed the smell of sewage either down in the lower level where we were located and outside on the walking deck. If you wait a year though before you reminisce, "it was the best trip ever.

Switzerland is amazing. We had an Airbnb on the Swiss German border near France.  Switzerland is pretty cool because they have mobility passes which makes tram travel free to travel anywhere in Switzerland as long as we are staying here as a tourist for a couple of nights. Ottawa should consider that but I guess they would lose money.  And I'm sure like in Heidelberg, where university is free, we are not going that route either. There is a place that offers new kinds of schools where one day they speak French, one day German, one day English... Isn't that a fantastic idea.  We think we are so progressive.  Doesn't matter, I love to travel but I love Canada more.

On our return trip, my sister bought a bottle of booze and convinced me to buy one at the grocery store.  She wrapped hers well in clothes and put it in the suitcase.  Briefly, I thought, isn't she foolish.  It will get broken.  I will just shlep mine around in the backpack.  At the security, the lady ahead was questioned about liquids and I smugly smiled that mine were all safely in a tiny plastic bag and then it hit me.  OMG nooooooo!

  My turn, and they "regretfully" took it away, I'm sure for their upcoming Chistmas party. I was sooooo sad.  The trip was a bust.  There was no consoling me and then when we reached the waiting area, it flashed, Flight to Amsterdam for us Canadians is cancelled, not just delayed.  WTF?  We trudged back to start all over again and I stopped briefly at security to say our flight was cancelled, and jokingly requested to have my bottle back and OMG they gave it to me.  Woohoo!  Whoopie!  Was a great trip we were
having. The irony to this story is I used to be a travel agent so I know better and more importantly, I  forget and DO THIS EVERY SINGLE YEAR!  Don't worry, I will tell you about it again when I come back from Australia. Cheers Mate.
Can't rotate the picture to save my soul.